I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
