i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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