That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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