i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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