You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
