I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize