Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
