By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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