Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
