it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
