Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
