If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
