I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
