I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize