Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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