How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".