sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.