just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?