So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
