called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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