so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
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