It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize