how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
