Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize