So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.