I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi