sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
