im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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