i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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