I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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