From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
