So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
