love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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