its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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