I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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