If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
