So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
