u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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