I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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