I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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