perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
