come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
