Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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