I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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