he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
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Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.