my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..