My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
