I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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