i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How does one acquire holy water?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize