hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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