I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize