You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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