don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am full of burrito and curiosity
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.