after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize