Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.