I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.