Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.