He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong