I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.